Are These People Really Superheroes?
by Attharun
Summary: Sequel to The Adventures of Kira Tomato. New enemies, and a new hero. Who is it? Clicky clicky!


Disclaimer: Yup. Gundam Seed. Not mine. Okay? Good.

a/n: Hah! I've made a humor fic to lift my spirits. Hopefully yours will too. By the way, I know Athrun's probably having a hard time. Is he? It doesn't seem that way. But yeah, I guess there's always the other side of the coin though, as **Gundam Mk Dead** said. Okay, you probably don't know what I'm babbling about, so head on to the story! And please review, like you always do. Thank you!

"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Sai Argyle, aka Glue Stick Man, cackled. He was wearing a very pathetic disguise: the old Earth Alliance uniform. Oh, and, to hide his secret identity, there were two glue sticks stuck on his head, which he glued himself (What a moron).

Beside him was his fiancé, Fllay Allster, who didn't wear a disguise, seeing as she was already pretty horrifying just by being herself.

"Mentally-ill freaks!" A grey Haro chirped as it bounced by.

"Sai, the glue gun!" Fllay ordered.

"Okay, darling!" Sai said as he handed her the weapon.

"NYAHAHAHAHA!" Fllay laughed as she squeezed the trigger. Hot glue liquid flew towards the Haro and trapped it like a net.

"Aahhh! Someone save meee!"

Meanwhile, just ten centimeters from the crime scene, Kira Yamato was carrying out his latest assignment: watching over a fruit stand. Even as countless thieves and robbers had stolen almost all the fruits, he continued to watch. After all, that was all he was told to do (dope).

Suddenly, his ultra-sensitive ears (yeah, right), heard someone in need of his help.

"Help! Help! Pleasepleaseplease!" the Haro continued to scream like a broken record.

Kira quickly rummaged in his pocket and took out a rotten tomato, which had probably been in there for who knows when. It was so rotten that a fly could smell it from a mile away. Anyway, back to the story.

Kira ran over to where Sai, Fllay and the trapped Haro were.

"Stop! Stop right there!"

"But we didn't even do anything interesting yet!" Fllay whined. Sai nodded in agrrement.

"I wasn't talking to you," Kira said bluntly. "I wanted to shut that Haro up."

"Oh," everyone else said in chorus.

"Who are _you_? You're kinda cute," Fllay said seductively.

"I'm Kira Tomato, and… I'm not in to sluts! Go away!" Kira shut his eyes tightly and wailed.

"How dare you call _me_ a _slut_?" Fllay yelled

"Don't worry, my dear, I shall dispose of him for you!" Sai declared, giving Fllay a crooked grin.

"Okay, and while you drop him in your giant meat grinder, I'll go shopping!" she said cheerfully as she skipped toward the mall. _I hate it when he gives me dopey pet names,_ she thought while rolling her eyes.

"Is she gone?" Kira asked as he opened one eye.

"Yes, and like she said, I'm gonna give you the big drop… on my giant meat grinder!"

As he said the last four words, lightning flashed and thunder sounded in the background.

Sai pulled out another glue gun and pulled the trigger. Glue headed towards Kira's face.

Kira quickly whipped out a deadly weapon from his pocket.

"Hah! A flower!" Sai crowed.

"Wait. I thought glue was weak against flowers!" Kira said.

"Glue is weak against _flour_, you idiot! How much IQ do you have? Wait, actually, I don't wanna know."

"Four."

"I told you I didn't wanna know."

The glue almost made contact with Kira's face when all of a sudden, a tiny puff of flour went out of the flower's center. But that didn't stop the glue. Kira was hit square in the face.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sai laughed evilly as he walked away.

Later, at the mayor's office…

"Tomato! This is the forty-ninth time in three days! You've failed again!" Cagalli screamed.

"Uh… where's the mayor?" Kira said nervously.

"I don't know. And I obviously don't care," Cagalli said as she got some spray paint from her desk drawer and started vandalizing on the biggest portrait of Athrun in the room.

"So what do I do?" Kira asked.

"Go play in the kiddy park," Cagalli mumbled, distracted.

"Yaaaay!" Kira squealed (like a kid who was just given a PS2).

In the kiddy park…

"I'm gonna rule the playground!" Yzak sang.

"Yeah… what he said!" Dearka sang along.

"WE shall rule the playground!" Creuset shouted, Lifesaver Haro hovering behind him.

"We got here first!" Yzak roared.

"Well, seeing as we can't dominate entire cities anymore, we will make do with what we have!" Lifesaver Haro countered.

"Yeah… what he said," Creuset sweat dropped.

"This park is ours!"

"No, it's ours!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is-,"

"Shut up!"

"Who said that?" Creust asked, looking around.

"I did!" Kira said. Then his eyes widened. "Creuset! You're alive!"

"Well, _duh!_ The villain never dies!" Lifesaver Haro pointed out.

"Well, anyway, where were we? Oh yeah! I must take these villains to jail! And then I'll go to a spa, then I'll get a foot massage, and…" And then he talked on and on and on about what he would do after.

"Creuset! Look at that guy!" Lifesaver Haro demanded.

"Who, me?" Creuset said stupidly.

"No! That _new_ guy!"

"You mean that guy in a ZAFT uniform with a taco on his head?"

"YES!" Yzak and the Haro shouted.

"The horny-for-Cagalli face looks familiar, but the taco on his head baffles me!"

"It is I! Athrun Zal-uh, Salsa! Yeah! Athrun Salsa!" the person said. "And I'm here to take these troublemakers to jail!"

"Isn't that my lunch?" Kira said right before Athrun ran with superhuman speed, dragging Creuset and Lifesaver Haro along.

"Kira Tomato! You are under arrest for absolutely no reason at all!" a police Haro yelled.

"Aww, man!"

"And what are _you_ doing here?" another Haro demanded of Yzak and Dearka.

"We're playing in the jungle gym…" Yzak said.

"…happily!" Dearka added.

"Okay, kids. Go on. Not that I'd care."

Later…

"Please! Give me one more chance! I'll catch that Glue guy!" Kira pleaded.

"I've already found a replacement," Cagalli said, then pushed a button on her desk (which appeared very suddenly).

BOOM!

A second later, there was no more big wooden door that separated the mayor's office from the rest of the City Hall.

"Athrun Salsa, at your service!"

"You did not have to break down the door just to make a 'grand entrance'!" Cagalli glared at Athrun. "Do you know how much that door costs?"

"Um… no."

"Whatever. Just go catch that Glue guy!" Cagalli ordered.

"I'll do it… for a price," Athrun said in a very horny way. Seductive music played in the background.

"Okay. We'll do _that_ after you catch that villain," Cagalli sighed.

"What about me?" Kira asked.

"Shut up!" Athrun and Cagalli said together.

Twenty seconds later…

"I caught them!" Athrun declared. "Glue Stick Man, who is really Sai Argyle, and Fllay Allster are now in jail!"

"Ugh. Just when I was packing my stuff," Cagalli whispered. _Great, now I can't escape to New Zealand, dye my hair, and change my name,_ she thought.

"About the reward…" Athrun winked. "Let's go check in a hotel!"

"Eww."

Meanwhile…

There was a hole in the wall of the jail cell Creuset and the Haro were in.

"MWAHAHAHAHA! We have created a hole in the wall! Let's escape!" Lifesaver Haro roared.

"Okay! Let's destroy-," Before Creuset could finish, someone interrupted him.

"Father! How many times do I have to tell you never to hang out with bad, influencing super villains?" Rey Za Burrel scolded.

"I have to listen to my son," Creuset told Lifesaver Haro. "He has a PH.D."

"You mean 'person who's high in drugs'?"

"SHADDAP!" Rey shouted. He tossed a meat bun into the pink robot's mouth.

"Not bad!"

"Come on, Father. It's time to head to the asylum-I mean, happy house, with all your white-coated friends," Rey muttered.

"Can I eat the taco on Athrun Salsa's head?" Creuset asked.

"No," Rey replied.

"Can we go buy a lollipop?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"WAAAAHHHH!" Creuset cried (like a kid).

"Okay, okay. Go buy a lollipop. I'm so embarrassed," Rey grunted. _What will Gilbert think?_ He thought.

Minutes later…

"Mmm…" Rau was now indulging in a big swirly lollipop, which was now full of slobber.

"I'm so glad I changed my surname," Rey muttered.

"Son, can we buy a new Gundam model?" Creuset asked.

"No. You already got a truck full."

"Please!"

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"Pleasepleaseplease?"

"Nonono."

"Rey Za Burrel is Rau Le Creuset's son?" Kira, who appeared out of nowhere, said.

"What a disgrace!" Lifesaver Haro said with disgust.

"SHADDAP!" Another meat bun made its way into the Haro's mouth.

"Aww, come on! My jaw is hurting from chewing on giant buns of meat!" Lifesaver Haro said in between chewing.

"Helloooo! Someone save meee!" the Haro who was still stuck in the glue screamed. "Hello?"

a/n: Wow, four pages. I'm surprised. Hope you like the absolutely useless humor! Well, got to go think up a fic for Cagalli and Kira's birthday! I'm gonna get to work! Bye for now. Oh, yeah, please review!


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